Today my heart breaks.
My heart breaks in the wake of the shooting at Hot Yoga Tallahassee on Friday, following the tragedy at the Tree of Life synagogue. My heart breaks for the souls lost, their families, the trauma and fear violence leaves in its wake. It breaks for the many repeated senseless acts of violence we are becoming accustomed to.
I feel helpless and disempowered. How do I affect change? How do I learn from and affect positive change from events so violent and senseless? I’m only one person. I have responsibilities, people who rely on me and limited time. There are many days where the enormity is beyond my comprehension.
I hear the news, I feel horrible, I get angry, I could scream and shout, I could cry, I could hide, I could ignore it all and pretend it never happened and ultimately return to my daily life and try to feel normal again.
But today, today I ponder “what would I do if”, if it were my yoga studio, my school, my church, synagogue, my family and community. What would I do differently? How would I live my life after such a tragedy?
What I know is I can’t do it alone. I never have and I never will. I am and always have been supported and carried by all around me, everyone and everything. I’m a single, tiny point of connection for others and they too are one of mine. We each branch out in all directions, connecting to the many through the one as a universal web. When one point is affected the vibration is transmitted to the center, then back out through all connection points. From the many we become one. From the one we become many.
Namaste literally means the divine spark with in me recognizes the same in you and in that recognition, we are one.
We are sacred sparks of divine creation. Individual points of light and connection in the divine web of loving existence.
What would I do today if it was my… I remember today to choose my words carefully and say to myself… it is my school, church, synagogue, yoga studio, family and community. It always has been, thinking “it happened to someone else” is a false shield for my heart and mind allowing me to be disillusioned and detach from suffering, the suffering that is happening all around me. When it’s happening all around me, it is naive to believe I am not suffering within it. After all it is this very energy that supports, carries and travels in and through me.
Today I remember, deeply recall in every cell of of my existence, that we are not “tribes” of red, blue, this gender or that gender, this species or that species, us and them, me and you… we are each spirit souls. Some of us are lost, some in pain, some in need, some disillusioned, some scared but all needing love and compassion. Today, I realize that I have to hold space in my heart for all, even those who are disillusioned and violent. Today I understand my work is much more challenging then raising money, sending love, light, thoughts and prayers. It will take much practice, many failures, but each day I must remember I am a divine spark, the energy of the universe receiving and transmitting a connection within the powerful web of creation. Love.
So what can I do next? Remember who I am, everyday, do the powerful work I was was born to do, being a single point, a divine spark and a conduit of love. Everyday commit to the hard work to clean the lens I see the world through, strive to rise to a higher state of being and everyday remember though I am in this world, I am not of it.
Pause and imagine for a moment if we all did the same, everyday. What a beautiful place the world would be. Now remember, everything begins at a single point and spreads far and wide from there ;)